She screamed, and tried to say something again but I put my hand around her mouth. I was standing behind her, still grabbing onto her hair firmly with...one hand, and covering her mouth with the other.“Shut up bitch! Just shut the fuck up!” I said to her in a loud, almost yelling voice. Hearing myself say it was incredible. I felt this enormous sense of power as I shoved her onto her bed. She fell onto her bed and hurried to the far side, against the wall with her back against the wall and her. But she went out with other guys. I'd read the stories online about cheating girl friends and wives. So I bugged her purse. Just a tiny digital voice activated recorder. All I picked up was the sounds of her at a party, her with the girls – explaining why she was with such a nerd. She said, by the way, it was because there was a really great guy just lurking behind the nerdiness. Her at a club – that was mostly music, because she was dancing with guys she met there. No real evidence of any. Halfway through lunch I finally realized that Janet was attracted to him. Dont ask me why but she was. I mean he was not overly good looking however he was not ugly as well but he was a nerd. After lunch was over as Janet and I walked to our next class I asked her. Why so interested in George? I asked. He is just dreamy dont you think, Janet replied. What ever I guess so, I replied as we went to our next class just leaving it at that. During our next class Steve with our principal walked up to. Next finger. A broken one. I was stabbed in the soul by each loss. My breathing was one long scream, just a hollow hiss due to strained vocal cords. Panic had become my norm. Agony. No God would help me with death.She picked up my fingers and tossed them into the drain. ?Maybe you can eat them when they rot soft enough, eh?? Her voice was so tinged with excitement. It was a mirror for my despair.The retching started again, throwing waves of nausea and light-headedness over me, yet the drugs.
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